Success in today’s world is defined by material possessions, social status, and professional success. For society, those who rise through the ladders of success deserve to be lionized and gain respect. How would society perceive a man rated as “unsuccessful” by the accepted standard? The reality is that society can be cruel, judgmental, and most often dismissive to those who don’t fit into the mound of what it considers success.
Definition of Success and Failure
Before getting deep into the view of society towards the unsuccessful man, it is important to comprehend what success or failure entails. Success is a personal affair since people define it differently. To some individuals, success might assume a highly compensated job, a big house, and living a luxurious life. To others, success means having the desired family bond, health, or personal satisfaction. However, in the general sense, society views success within a very narrow perspective, usually in terms of monetary achievements and social position.
Failure, in turn, is rather the absence of these markers of success. An “unsuccessful” man usually means a man who fails to attain the required level of financial stability, who does not work his way through his career properly, or who does not gain social recognition. That is a very narrow point of view, considering that everyone’s journey is different and success can be diverse.
The Stigma of Being Unsuccessful
Society is ruthless towards failures. The unfortunate man is soon judged, empathized with, and sometimes even disliked. He is attributed as a lazy, un-ambitious, or at best an unlucky fellow. The tag of being a failure creates an impact on one’s self-esteem with feelings of insufficiency, humiliation, and guilt at a low level of self-confidence.
In this context, men in many cultures are expected to be providers, leaders, and protectors. If such a man fails to live up to these responsibilities, he is often perceived as being less than that. Due to societal pressure, his mental health may suffer serious damage involving depression and anxiety. The man, in failure, may feel he is always under a microscope, with every failure held under scrutiny while each success is overlooked.
The Impact on Personal Identity
All this seriously can affect the personal identity of an unsuccessful man. In most cases, society would equate a man’s worth with what he achieves, and so he is most likely to think the same about himself. He may start identifying himself not only as a failure in his career or in financial terms but as a human being. Caught in this vicious circle, a man would fall into such a situation: the fear of failure leads him to lack of confidence, and due to the lack of confidence, more failures happen.
The career for most men is deeply intertwined with their identity. When the career is not exactly as expected, it is like a part of oneself has died. The men struggle with feelings of worthlessness, doubting themselves. The harsh judgments of society reinforce this even more, making it hard for the unsuccessful man to get out of such a negative spiral.
The Role of Media and Pop Culture
Media and pop culture also play a significant role in shaping societal perceptions regarding both success and failure. Shows, movies, and advertisements either tend to glorify the successful and disgrace the unsuccessful or vice versa. Examples include the prototype of the “self-made man” and the view of struggling people as lazy or incompetent. This creates impossible standards and puts even more pressure on men to be successful no matter the cost.
And then, of course, there is social media. Between Instagram and LinkedIn, it is full of people touting their various successes: landing the perfect job, buying a new car, or going on fabulous vacations. The constant exposure to all these achievements of other people can only further isolate an unsuccessful man and make him feel inadequate. The pressure to keep pace with the “highlight reel” can be overwhelming and may lead to feelings of envy and despair.
Double Standards
The following becomes quite interesting because the societal mindset is filled with double standards. By double standards, what is meant is that whereas men are looked down upon to a great extent for not being able to succeed, women would not be treated in such a manner. Again, this does not mean that females do not have their own different set of problems because the expectations as regards being successful providers are placed on males at a much higher pedestal than in the case of their female counterparts.
Failed men may also be regarded as failures much more than the Successful ones, even though they may have compromised morals or ethics to reach a point. For example, a man who has gained wealth through questionable means could be accorded more respect than a poor man who is honest. The double standard depicts the values instilled deep in the fabric of society: material success beats integrity and character.
Social Consequences
Social consequences may be severe for being perceived as an unsuccessful person: the unsuccessful man is excluded from his social circle, bypassed for promotion, or even deserted by friends and family. The pressure to be successful also leads to exhausted partnerships in love relationships, causing breakdowns in communication that may further lead to divorce.
Unsatisfactory men may also have work problems. Employers will not hire or promote a person they perceive as a failure, even if this man is qualified for the position. This makes the underemployment cycle expand, unsuccessful men only have low-paying, unsatisfactory jobs with little opportunity for advancement.
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Breaking the Cycle
But then how does a failed man break loose from the pressures and judgments placed on him by society? He redefines success to himself. Rather than measuring himself against the standards of the world surrounding him, he needs to rest in what makes him fulfilled and happy. Success is not about the bank account or the title on the business card; it’s about living a life in its simple state closest to your values and passions.
Another most important step is having a network of friends, family, and even mentors who respect and understand his process. Being around positive, encouraging people can keep him motivated and focused on his goals while everyone else in society attempts to tear him down.
Finally, an unsuccessful man should be able to take good care of his mental health. Maybe societal judgement will get to him eventually, but practices such as mindfulness, therapy, and self-care enable him to be optimistic that success is a process and not an end point, and setbacks are normal.
Society seems to be cruel toward failures; it can be even more unfair when judgments involve an individual’s worth. Success, however, need not be exactly the same for everybody. All of them have their paths, and what matters is a life closest to themselves.
It might be hard, but not impossible, for the unsuccessful man to free himself from such a narrow view of success. He can do this only by redefining success for himself, creating a close-knit support network, and taking responsibility for his mental health, so he knows how to beat the stigmatisation he faces and lead a meaningful life to the fullest. Society may not notice his worth, but that does not mean it is not there. Success is not fitting into a shape; success is breaking out of the frame.